Please understand - I am
usually willing to be a team player, but really???
Sometimes my humans are just a little too uppity about this stuff and need to be
shown who’s the true boss in this household. So, when the opportunity arose, I
struck! Nabbing a whole bowl of grapes off the kitchen counter was a piece of
cake (but that’s yet another story) for me.
Unfortunately,
I neglected to hide the evidence. My people panicked when they returned home to
find empty grape stems scattered throughout the house. The next thing I know, Todd is
prying my mouth open and Tanya is trying to choke me with a spoonful of
who-knows-what. I promptly showed them that all that drama was completely unnecessary
– just give me the damn spoon, I can drink this crap just fine without your help!
(I later overheard that the who-knows-what crap was peroxide. Don’t tell them
this, but personally, I found it quite delicious.)
But what
happened after that REALLY pissed me off. I lost every one of those luscious grapes
in three big pools of vomit. Not my most flattering moment. Even then, the
situation could have been salvaged as all the grapes were still whole (I have
to eat fast when it’s possible I'll get caught at any second) and I would have
appreciated the chance to have another go at it. But oh no, faster than two scurrying
squirrels Todd and Tanya destroyed the evidence of their wrongdoing. They told me
later that my gulping the grapes down whole not only made clean-up easier, but
was what most likely saved them a huge vet bill. Well la-te-da, aren’t I just little Miss
Considerate!
I spent the
rest of the evening having a pity party for myself, causing Todd and Tanya to
bribe me with tummy rubs and prime real estate on the couch. Believe me, I made
them suffer right along with me.
Oh well, I
may have made a mess of things (literally), but never mind, they still
don’t know about the cake….
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